I've been feeling weird. I'm constantly annoyed with the littlest things and I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't feel me, I feel like a different person. Somehow, I feel like the me now has engulfed the old me and I don't know where is she anymore. I feel like I've changed quite a bit this year... And I've been asking myself this lately, "What would the old you think of you now?" I don't think she would like who I am now.
And I've also been terribly let down by myself. It should have been a new year, a new fucking start. But I'm going right back to square one. Going back to how lazy and unmotivated I was. Just not trying hard enough, spending too much time on that will not benefit me in any way, not putting in enough effort into my work. I really need to wake the fuck up....... I can't keep going on like this my whole life man.
I don't like how my school life is so boring. I don't like how some of my friends are drifting away from me. I don't like how I feel so aimless in life. I don't like it when I feel so lousy, I don't like it when I feel like I'm not good enough. Not good enough for anyone. I don't like it when I feel so insignificant. I don't like 2012, I really don't.
What a sad human being, I am. I just hope life gets better. One more month to a new year, time really flies.
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