“I have learned that if you are down, stay down. Don’t get back on your fucking feet until you are prepared to stand. Don’t get up until you have learned why you fell. Nine times out of ten, it is because you were weighing down on someone who could no longer hold you. You gave someone your power. You forgot about yourself. Let me tell you something - there is one person there for you. One person. It’s the same person that wipes your shit and feeds you and cleans up your vomit after a drunken night. It’s the same person who brushes your teeth and tends to your wounds and gets your crying ass out of the shower. The same one that tucks you into bed and cradles you in the night and fights off the darkness and embraces the light. It’s you. It’s always been you. Don’t get off that fucking ground because you see somebody you know or somebody you want to know, or - somebody you can rely on. Wipe your fucking face and get up for you. Because you can. Because it’s the least of what you owe yourself.”
Hey folks! How's everyone?? Sorry for the lack of updates. (Something I always say when I blog) I hope you guys still read this boring space.
I just realized my life style has changed quite a bit as I age. Used to really hate clubbing but here I am, going to clubs. Which is really funny coming to think of it. I still hate going to clubs but there's this really weirdly nice vibes pulling me in. Its like a love-hate relationship... I don't know. And as I age, I get lazier and lazier. Used to really love the morning sun and waking up early. Have no idea why but now I find myself in bed even at 3pm. Used to have a lot of hobbies too. I really loved taking pictures. Used to be so into photography. I'd rave about how good the 50mm lens are and how the bokehs would show in the details. Just thinking of all these things makes me really sad. Its part of growing which I do understand but there's always a part of me which wants to go back. The life I'm living right now is oddly boring, given the freedom I've been granted. It doesn't make life much more interesting that how it was. It just makes me develop more bad habits which are really hard to get rid of once they've settled in. And I have so much free time on my hands now since I'm not schooling at the moment. Never have I expected to see myself in this stage where I have to drop out of school and try to get my hands on something to do. Which I guess I have nobody but to blame but myself. All I can say is that I'm a slave to influences; good or bad. My will is so weak even though I'm a very determined person. But I guess that's life, just gotta strive harder. Gonna take it as a lesson learnt! As they always say, once bitten twice shy.
Just a few updates!
I've been given a few options for my future.
1. Go to Kaplan and pursue a diploma in Mass communications.
2. Go to the states to pursue a degree in Arts.
This is the hardest decision I have to make in my entire life. I wouldn't mind going to Kaplan but there will always be this "parent barrier".... My mom thinks that Kaplan isn't really established which leaves me with option 2. The states is so far away. And.... I have to make new friends. Probably will take me very long to settle down to the new environment and I probably have to speak like a blonde. :-( And it will take me a whole lot of courage to leave everyone I love behind. But I get to start anew... Hmmm. This shit is so nerve wrecking.............. On the side note, life has been pretty much ok nowadays.
And if you guys have any questions!