feelings

Hello.

I got myself thinking. Again. Sometimes, I can feel my brain cells depleting with all those mindless thoughts going on in my mind. My thoughts all conjoined together is like a raging vortex and my sanity is a lighted candle placed right in the middle of it. I guess maybe one day, I will really lose my mind.

Its 5am right now and I'm still awake. You know there are always days, in the dead of night when you have this weird feeling inside of you? Like you're missing something. Have you ever felt like you've words left unsaid, words that have never left your lips? Which you regret to ever let that happen? This is what happens when you restrain yourself. Keeping all those thoughts, all those words that you've always wanted to say to yourself. They say that silence is a lethal weapon. Yes, that is pretty true. It gets work done. It shuts people up but it also has the ability to create a concealed space for assumptions which figuratively, is kinda like a suicide terrorist. Its like throwing a bomb at someone you hate and then shooting yourself afterwards. The next time you feel like saying something to someone, say it. If you love someone, tell them. Time waits for no one. Your feelings will never precede unless they're spoken of.

We always expect more of people than of ourselves. We take more than we give. Naming the simple things like text messages. We always expect a message from someone but we don't do anything at all. If that person doesn't send you a message, you wouldn't either. Its like a never ending war. Like I said, silence is indeed a silent killer. Silence might kill your friendship, your relationship and even the bond between family members. And one more thing about humans is that we don't realize what we have until we've lost it. Sad but harsh truth. Lesson learnt. So the next time you feel like ignoring your conscience, your feelings or even yourself, defy it. Set aside your ego and just click "send"? You clearly won't lose a limp. Again, time waits for no one so don't waste your time.

Its 5.30am, I need to stop.
One a side note (with no relations of that bunch of shit I've just typed above), I guess I'm better off alone sailing through this odyssey of emotions or simply put, life. I now know who to keep by my side but just being skeptical as usual, I'm doing this alone. However, I will still be hoping that this feeling inside of me is ephemeral. LOL I need to open up more, I'm such a wimp. Have a great day to whoever just read this boring post hehe. Goodnight x