sticks and stones

I think I might just turn suicidal, I don't know what I'm doing with my life now, seriously. I am such a weakling. You can just go around hurling criticism at me and yeah, you'll be able to bring me down. I just realized that I am good at nothing. Nothing. Just an empty soul in this world, trying to find a sense of belonging. But up till now, all I've got is nothing, again. Seems like I really can't believe in luck any more. No matter how many times I wish for a miracle, I will never happen on me. It has NEVER happened on me. I'm so sick of putting up a front. I'm so sick of trying to be happy when I'm not. I'm so sick of having to smile when I don't feel like it. I'm so sick of being forced. I'm SO fucking sick of trying. You know, here are some things some people will never understand because they've not tried walking in my shoes. You don't even know how I feel.. Why don't you try walking a few miles in my shoes and then YOU tell me how I feel. How is that? I'm not okay so please don't assume that I am okay. (I am not delusional, I know my own feelings) I am really not okay so please don't say things will get better. I've already given up hoping that things will turn out right because they never did. And sometimes, I really feel like giving up.

And I beg of you, please please please don't annoying me. I need some peace. Just leave me alone.... If I were to snap, you know you've brought that upon yourself. And please don't joke around with me when I'm feeling down. Though I might not be showing anything but at the end of the day, I'm only human.