let the monsters see you smile

Speech day is nearing again.. Sigh.
I was super sleepy today. I slept nearly all the way through chemistry lesson. This is the first time I've ever slept so long in class this year. I need to pull myself up now. I need to pick up the pieces I've left up. All those bullshit I've said late last year, are all lies. Lies I've been telling myself.

Life is like a light bulb, when sometimes whatever you do, the light bulb just won't light up. It fuses then everything just turns black and white, where feelings of unworthiness swallow everything, where you wish you were dead and gone. Still there is something that does not let go and keeps you afloat. I hope I can actually find that in myself. Everything I do just injects this.. feeling inside me.