and right now there's a war between the vanities

I'm too sad for words. Life is such a let down. I don't know why I am always feeling like this. I hate how it feels, I hate feeling insecure, I hate seeing people upset and I hate myself being upset just because of the smallest things. I really hate this, I really hope that this kind of things won't happen in life but the truth is, life isn't as smooth sailing as our own imagination. There'd always be obstacles blocking and pushing you aside. At one point of time, you think you will be alright, a thunderstorm will come crashing down and then you will be out in the freezing water, screaming for help. So there's no point watching or reading those books about happy endings for comfort, telling yourself that, "Ooh, see! That's how my life will be." 'cos really, you will only end up feeling miserable.

I'm sick of seeing people being upset. I'm sick of people choking up their mind with unhappy thoughts and not saying it out. I wonder why I have to be so conscious, why do I have to be haunted by all those remarks whether good or bad. Why do I have to be so sensitive? Why do I have to keep remembering? Why do I care, why do I even give a fucking damn? Sometimes I will be on the verge of tears just by thinking of it. Sometimes, some times, sometimes, why why why, i wish i wish i wish. Its always the same.